When to Call Someone

Warning signs worth a call, and who to call — from the health and child-safety organizations named on this page. Not medical or legal advice.

Last updated: September 10, 2026

Who to call

Warning signs

Each sign below comes from the organization named after it, listed on its own. The links in Sources go to each organization’s full wording.

Someone is getting hurt

(Danger right now: 911. Talk of dying, or hurting themselves on purpose: 988.)

• A child hurts other people. (AAP; Nemours KidsHealth)
• A child hurts themselves on purpose — self-injury or other self-destructive behavior. (CDC; AAP; Nemours KidsHealth)
• A child attacks you or other adults. (AAP)
• You’re afraid for the safety of the people around the child. (AAP)

It keeps happening, or it’s getting bigger

• Tantrums are happening more often, getting more intense, or lasting longer. (Nemours KidsHealth)
• Outbursts are happening often. The AAP calls how often they happen “the most important warning sign.” (AAP)
• A child has seemed unusually aggressive for longer than a few weeks. (AAP)
• Hitting, biting, or fighting that is frequent, severe, or keeps happening. (AACAP No. 81)
• A child is being sent home or kept out of play by school or neighbors. (AAP)
• A child seems very disagreeable, argues a lot, or hardly ever cooperates. (Nemours KidsHealth)

Changes in mood, energy, or behavior

The CDC says: “If you are concerned about anxiety or depression in your child, the first step is to talk with a health care provider such as your child’s primary care provider, or a mental health specialist, about getting an evaluation.” Signs the CDC and AACAP list include: (CDC; AACAP No. 4)

• Sad, tearful, hopeless, or irritable a lot of the time.
• Doesn’t want to do, or doesn’t enjoy, the fun things they used to.
• Eating a lot more or a lot less than usual.
• Sleeping a lot more or a lot less than usual.
• Tired and sluggish, or tense and restless, a lot of the time.
• A hard time paying attention.
• Feeling worthless, useless, or guilty — like everything is their fault, or like they’re not good at anything.
• Spending less time with friends or in after-school activities.
• More headaches or stomachaches.
• Caring less about school, or not doing as well in school.

CDC’s list also includes self-injury, listed above under “Someone is getting hurt.” AACAP also notes that teens with depression may use alcohol or other drugs; we’ve left that off this page, which is written for young children.

Worry or fear

• Worries or fears that get in the way of everyday life — like being apart from you, going to school, or making friends. (AACAP No. 47; CDC)
• Sudden, repeated episodes of intense fear. (CDC)
• Irritability or anger. The CDC notes anxiety “can also make children irritable and angry.” (CDC)
• AACAP lists these signs: (AACAP No. 47)
  • Around separation: constant fear about a parent’s safety · refusing to go to school or to separate from a parent · being overly clingy · panic or tantrums when separating · frequent stomachaches or other physical complaints · trouble sleeping or nightmares · extreme worries about sleeping away from home
  • Around one thing: extreme fear of a specific thing or situation · fears that cause a lot of distress and get in the way of usual activities
  • Around people: fear of meeting or talking to people · avoiding social situations · few friends outside the family · seeming excessively shy · talking at home but not at school or with friends
  • Around worry in general: many “what ifs” before things happen · constant worries about family, school, friends, or activities · fear of embarrassment or making mistakes · low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence
  • Repeated unwanted thoughts or actions (obsessions or compulsions)

AACAP notes that intense distress at separation is common from about 8 months through the preschool years; it lists these as concerns when fears get in the way of everyday life.

Talk about death or dying

• Talking about wanting to die, being caught up in death and dying, no longer talking about or planning for the future, or giving away important possessions. (AACAP No. 4; AACAP No. 10; CDC) → Call or text 988 now, or 911 if a child is in danger right now. (988 Lifeline; NIMH)
• AACAP says any child or teen with thoughts or plans of suicide “should be evaluated immediately by a trained and qualified mental health professional.” (AACAP No. 10)

Many of AACAP’s other warning signs — changes in eating or sleeping, frequent sadness, pulling away from friends, family, and regular activities, stomachaches, headaches or tiredness, and schoolwork slipping — are in the lists above. Besides depression, AACAP lists these risk factors for suicide in children and teens: a family history of suicide attempts, exposure to violence, impulsivity, aggressive or disruptive behavior, access to firearms, bullying, feelings of hopelessness or helplessness, and acute loss or rejection.

Something may have happened

• You think a child may have been hurt, abused, or neglected, or you’ve seen a child being abused. (Childhelp; Childcare.gov)
• AACAP notes that frequent hitting or fighting may be a sign of other problems — for example, a child may be sad or upset, have trouble controlling anger, have witnessed violence, or have been a victim of abuse at day care, school, or home. (AACAP No. 81)

How it’s going for you

Nemours KidsHealth and the AAP also list these as reasons to talk to your child’s doctor. (Any hour: 988 or Childhelp — see “Who to call.”)

• You often feel angry or out of control when you respond to tantrums. (Nemours KidsHealth)
• You find yourself giving in to avoid your child acting out. (Nemours KidsHealth)
• Tantrums are causing a lot of tension at home — between you and your child, or between you and your partner or other adults at home. (Nemours KidsHealth)
• Your child’s behavior feels like too much to handle on your own. (AAP)

Development

• You have any concerns about how a child is developing. (CDC; AAP)

The CDC and AAP pages in Sources list signs and milestones by age; we haven’t copied them here.

For teachers and child care providers: reporting abuse

• The Child Welfare Information Gateway notes that, as of May 2023, 44 states name teachers as mandated reporters and 36 name child care providers, and in about 17 states and Puerto Rico anyone who suspects child abuse or neglect is required to report. It says mandated reporters “do not have the burden of providing proof that abuse or neglect has occurred.” (Child Welfare Information Gateway)
• The federal Caring for Our Children Basics guidance says to report “directly to the child abuse reporting hotline, child protective services, or the police, as required by state and local laws.” It also notes state hotlines “may not operate 24 hours a day, and some toll-free numbers may only work in a specific state.” Your state’s line is on Childcare.gov’s state list, and Childhelp says it can help you figure out how and where to report. (Caring for Our Children Basics; Childcare.gov; Childhelp)
• The Child Welfare Information Gateway notes that state laws differ: in some states you must tell the head of your school or program (in some of those, the head then makes the report), and in others, telling them does not replace your own duty to report. (Child Welfare Information Gateway)

About this page

Sources

• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (no date shown)
• National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), Suicide Prevention (last reviewed August 2025)
• Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline (no date shown)
• Childcare.gov (U.S. Administration for Children and Families), Report Child Abuse and Neglect (no date shown)
• American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP), Facts for Families No. 10, Suicide in Children and Teens (updated May 2024)
• AACAP, Facts for Families No. 4, Depression in Children and Teens (updated October 2018)
• AACAP, Facts for Families No. 47, Anxiety and Children (updated October 2023)
• AACAP, Facts for Families No. 81, Fighting and Biting (April 2017)
• American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), HealthyChildren.org, 10 Tips to Prevent Aggressive Behavior in Young Children (updated 10/25/2023)
• AAP, HealthyChildren.org, Milestones Matter (updated 4/7/2026)
• Nemours KidsHealth, Temper Tantrums (reviewed June 2022)
• CDC, Anxiety and Depression in Children (reviewed May 15, 2026)
• CDC, Signs and Symptoms of Autism Spectrum Disorder (reviewed May 16, 2024)
• American School Counselor Association (ASCA), The School Counselor and Student Mental Health (revised 2025)
• Child Welfare Information Gateway, Mandatory Reporting of Child Abuse and Neglect (current through May 2023)
• Caring for Our Children Basics (U.S. Administration for Children and Families), 3.4.4.1 Reporting Suspected Child Maltreatment (last reviewed January 28, 2026)