It’s Not a Stomachache
It’s 7:40 in the morning and your kid’s stomach hurts. Again. It hurt yesterday too, right about now, and the day before — and funny how it never seems to hurt on a Saturday.
You’re not a monster. You’ve checked the forehead, asked the questions. And part of you is quietly doing the math — the bus, the meeting, the “stay home” you maybe already used this month — while another part wonders if they’re just… avoiding. Playing it up. Working you.
Here’s what’s usually true: the stomachache is real. It’s just not coming from the stomach.
Why does my child get a stomachache before school?
Anxiety shows up in kids physically long before they can name it. The Child Mind Institute lists headaches, stomachaches, even nausea before school or a test as common signs of anxiety — and notes that kids aren’t inventing these symptoms or trying to get out of things. A young child often doesn’t even know they’re anxious; the worry trips the body’s fight-or-flight response, and the body rings the only alarm it’s got. The tight tummy is the feeling.
“Headaches and stomachaches related to anxiety are still real feelings, and we want to take them seriously.”
— Amanda Greenspan, LCSW, Child Mind Institute
Is it worry or a real illness — when should I worry?
Anxiety stomachaches are real, but so are stomach bugs — the tell is the pattern: worry-aches cluster around school mornings and fade on weekends or once the day’s underway. If the pain is severe, comes with fever or other symptoms, or lingers regardless of the calendar, treat it as medical and call your pediatrician.
How do I help a child with morning worry?
Treat the body and the worry as real. Not “there’s nothing wrong with you” — that argues with what they feel. More like, “Your tummy gets like this sometimes when something’s worrying you.”
Name the shape of it. “You’re a little Cubby this morning. What’s the heaviest thing in your cheeks right now?” Sometimes they’ll surprise you; sometimes they won’t know — and just having a word lets a little air out.
Don’t let avoidance win. The Child Mind Institute notes that routinely letting an anxious kid skip the scary thing tends to make the anxiety bigger; usually the dread is worse than the day. (A real or worsening symptom, of course, is one for the doctor.)
Where the Krewelings come in
Cubby the chipmunk stuffs both cheeks full of worries until there’s no room to think straight. Cubby’s not faking — Cubby’s full. For a child, pointing at a chipmunk with bulging cheeks and saying “that’s me right now” is far easier than finding the word “anxious” before breakfast.
The stomachache might still send them out the door slow. But there’s a world of difference between a kid who’s “being dramatic” and a kid whose body is trying to say something. One gets corrected. The other gets understood.
It’s okay to feel what you feel — even when the feeling shows up as a stomachache at 7:40 in the morning.
When to call someone (information from groups like the AAP, CDC, and 988 Lifeline — not medical advice): If a child is in danger right now, or it’s a life-threatening situation, call 911. If a child talks about wanting to die, or talks about or does things to hurt themselves on purpose, call or text 988. If a child is hurting other people, tantrums are coming more often, getting more intense, or lasting longer, or worries or fears get in the way of everyday life, talk to your child’s doctor — or, for teachers, your school counselor. These aren’t the only signs: see more warning signs, and who to call — including if you think a child is being abused or neglected — on our When to Call Someone page.
